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Tiny and Me

27 years ago, I met my future husband at a party in a third story apartment on Orange street in Lewiston, Maine. I was 17, and had a perm and an embarrassed smile. He was 24, with a mustache and tattoos. As soon as he saw me walk in, he stopped talking to the dirty girl who was sitting on the coffee table listening to him, and walked up to me. I could see that he was dangerous and bad, exciting and fun. We talked and listened to the Little River Band and when my friend and I left to go to another party, he followed us. He was persistent and bold and all the things I was not. So, 24 hours later, when he tied a leftover piece of tinsel on my ring finger, I thought to my self that I would never take it off. I managed to keep it intact by mostly keeping my hand dry all the next week and surprised him with it when I came down to see him the following weekend. He asked me to marry him the weekend after that and I knew that if I stayed with him, he would take care of me always. And so it began…

I wrote this a few years ago about the night I met my husband. Our circumstances have changed through the years, he went to college while I worked as a CNA, then I went to nursing school while he worked. We had two children, bought a house and had a granddaughter. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, PTSD and ADHD about 10 years ago. Always what I thought of as a character, a rascal and sometimes a jerk, this brought a sense of relief to know that there was a reason for the way he acted, sometimes in bed for days, sometimes the life of the party. We have hung on through 26 years of marriage because we have fun together, because we love and like each other and because we balance each other out perfectly. I am the roots and he is the leaves. I am the earth and he is the sky. I am our anchor and he is our wings.  I was right about thinking that he would take care of me always, he protects me physically, but I shield him mentally. Together, we are one.

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The beginning

Now, this is exciting. Forgive me for sounding so childlike and maybe even ridiculous, but I can’t believe that I have had views (ok, a view) from strangers on my first post! I keep checking the stats as if they were stocks and marveling that someone who I don’t even know would read something I wrote! This is amazing to me for several reasons. First, I don’t know how to blog, I have never even read a blog. I don’t even know how to find a blog to read. Therefore, my concept of a blog is limited to suggestions from worldly, albeit much younger relatives and friends that have read my Facebook posts and suggested that I start one. Secondly, although random thoughts pour out of my head like a waterfall, I am severely limited in my typing skills. I use only two fingers, sometimes three, and have to look at the keyboard. I blame this disability on the fact that when I went to high school in the 80’s, I was pressed into taking “honors” classes for the college bound. Clearly my teachers had not counted on my lack of motivation and general lack of interest in academia as a factor when they convinced me to sign up for these intellectual obstacle courses. As I was sleeping through class or just not even showing up ( thank you Tiny!), I was missing out on the much more practical “business classes” that included typing and bookkeeping. I never missed the latter but the former would sure come in handy about now. And finally, my spelling and grammar leave a lot to be desired, (please refer to the sleeping through class reference above) sorry Mrs. Blood (not kidding, actually her name), as some of you, who have actually suffered through this winded, run on sentence, née, paragraph can tell. So, I said all this to say, with absolutely not even one read blog under my belt to compare it with, I will continue on with this self-absorbed virtual diary until I am either A. figuratively tarred and feathered (very real possibility) or B. run out of things to say (don’t count on it).  Be forewarned:  I am very bipolarish ( I feel OK about using this term as my husband actually is bipolar and he wont mind) about my writing. I will either write several posts in one day, or I might go three days with nothing. I know enough about blogging to know this is not smart, but I never claimed to be smart or a blogger.

Thank you for reading,

Susannah Warner

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My first post ( I’m sorry this is ridiculous but I had to start somewhere)!

  • Well, this is exciting! My first post! I found my way here by literally googling “how do I start a blog” this morning. My desire to write and to share my life has finally outweighed any reticence I have felt about this strange new world. currently I am befuddled by terms such as widget, gadget and cookies. I know this is pathetic but if you are out there and are miraculously still reading, please be kind and offer any insights and pearls of wisdom that you may have. In the meantime, I will carry on, stumbling through the blogosphere like a virtual Mr. Magoo, blind and clueless but basically harmless. No doubt, many blogging blunders await as well as an occasional social gaffe. But like thousands of explorers before me, I will plunge in and forge ahead secure in the knowledge that at least for me, movement in any direction, even occasionally backwards, is better than sitting around and waiting for something to happen.  Thank you for reading.

Susannah Warner