We’re lucky to have our little Bean over so often and so blessed to be grandparents. I mean, our kids were fun, but raising them was a lot of work; emotional and physical. For one thing, they never slept well, even years beyond the baby stage, and since they are 6 years apart, I’m pretty sure I didn’t sleep through the night for nearly a decade. They fought a lot, usually just the garden variety, “she’s looking at me,” and “he keeps coughing in my ear,” followed by bouts of hitting or relentless teasing, but I also seem to recall, buried in the recesses of my brain, a rather unfortunate incident, involving a glass bottle thrown at someone’s head, and an even more egregious accusation of someone being chased around the dinner table by someone else who was wielding a knife. Who the aggressor was in each incident, I really don’t know, as I’ve just now stumbled upon this forgotten file in my brain, stored away at least 15 years ago and aptly titled, “Cure for baby fever!!” This, after I’d spent a dreamy 5 minutes, waxing poetic about the joys of having small children in the house.
And then there’s the guilt; a heavy, cumbersome mantle sitting securely on the head of every mother; working or stay-at-home, single or married. There is no escaping it, almost each day brings a fresh supply, and we as mothers accept the heavy burden with only the small consolation that we must be doing an ok job, or we probably wouldn’t feel guilt at all. Through all this; the fighting, the drudgery, the long days and short nights, there were plenty of good times too. But, it all seemed to go by so quickly, and even though the days often dragged, there is this strange phenomenon I heard a wise person explain like this, “the days are long, but the years are short,” I’ve found this to be quite accurate.
I actually enjoy my children so much more now that they are adults, because they are the friends that I raised. They know all my quirks, and think nothing of them. They understand my need to quote my favorite movie lines every time someone says something that reminds me of one, or when I can’t help but sing the chorus of a song that seems to suit the occasion. When I say, “oh your father, you know how he is,” they nod fondly and smile, and they politely remain nonplussed when “The Bickersons,” our evil, alter ego couple come to call, since they’ve seen their act many times before. Best of all, neither one can be bothered with staring at each other anymore, or coughing in each other’s ears and I’m quite confident that any squabble that might arise in the future, will not sink to the level of a thrown glass bottle, nor a threatened brutal knife attack, although a bout of relentless teasing cannot be entirely ruled out. Thus, family gatherings with adult children is generally peaceful, if not a little bit predictable.
But a grandchild! Oh, what a joy! She lights up our world with her funny sayings, and her adorable little eyeglasses. We have all of the fun and none of the guilt. We really don’t care if she has cookies for breakfast, or if she doesn’t brush her teeth. We buy things we’d never buy for our kids…a milkshake at a restaurant instead of water! Noisemakers and glow sticks at a parade! Build-a-bear at the mall, and candy at the movies, instead of smuggling in our own! All fun, no work! Unless she wants to help, in which case we have all the time in the world for her to crack eggs and help pound in a nail.
In most cases, the less time we have on earth, the more patience we have for these little ones, and this is one of the many reasons they love us. Because, something all grandparents know is that as we age our days are shorter, but the enthusiasm and vitality of grandchildren, keep our years long. And that is just one of the many reasons that we love them.
