The weight of the previous night pins you to your bed and the thought of your actions pierce your heart. The sickness in your body competes with the sickness in your mind, because you promised yourself that you would stop, you told your loved ones that you were done, that you hated it as much as they did. Your days are long and arduous because your nights are short and carefree, and the disappointment of others is surpassed only by the hatred of yourself and what you’ve done, again. You long to be a kid again, with no desire for evil, before you knew addiction and pain. The call of freedom and the allure of joy, no matter how false, pulls you, and you come running, justifying your actions by telling yourself that you deserve a break, because it was a hard day, you’re feeling down and overwhelmed, or maybe the day is sunny, its Friday or a holiday. There is always a reason, there is always an excuse. When the thought of juggling lives and lies is too much, know this: it is a new day, with new mercies and a clean slate. You are loved and you are forgiven. Today, you are fresh and new. Get up, show up, don’t give up. Do all that you can, and know that what you can’t do, He will. His mercies are new every morning. This is a promise, claim it, it is yours.