Posted in Life, Love, marriage

Light (A Dystopian Fairy Tale)

Once upon a time, in a land not too far away…

The land was dusty and dry, the sky red. They marched together, down a straight path toward a destination only their spirits knew. They knew they must keep moving toward the great light ahead. It’s purity beckoned them forward and they were pulled like magnets toward it’s sweet promise of rest and beauty. They knew this barren land was not their home; there was little comfort there. Instinctively they knew that they must not deviate, they must not let go, they must march together, and they must stay on the path.

They were focused and determined at first. Their faces were set toward the light and they broke their intense gaze only occasionally, and only to turn to each other to exchange a sweet smile of encouragement. Her gown was gauzy and light, and blew behind her as she walked. Her feet were bare, and her step was light. She wore a backpack stuffed full of joy, hope and devotion. And sometimes she was so happy she skipped like a child, while he smiled fondly and indulgently at her. His boots were sturdy and he was dressed for battle. He had pockets where he kept his weapons and a canteen on his hip. He had a backpack too; it was chock full of love, loyalty, and protection. His hands were rough, but held hers gently.

They were not tired, they were not thirsty. They had each other and they were sure of their mission, although they did not know what they would find when they got there. And although the weather had been calm, a sudden gust of wind tugged at her dress, and threatened to pull her way, but his grip on her tightened and her feet come back to the dusty earth. She smiled up at at him, unaware that a bit of joy had spilled out of her bag. He smiled back, but a creeping vine reached out and wrapped around his foot, nearly tripping him. He stumbled, and nearly fell, but her small hand gave him just enough stability to right himself, although when he did, a little love leaked out of the side of his backpack. Unaware of what they’d lost, they smiled at each other and marched on, but not before they stopped to pick up two beautiful pebbles as keepsakes.

They pressed on, although they were wary now as they saw it was not as easy as they had initially thought. For the first time, her gaze swept from side to side, instead of looking straight ahead at the light. She was looking for danger and she found it, although to her, it was not scary at all. It looked like a puppy floundering in a pond just off the path to her right. She started to pull away from him, and go off the path to help the pitiful thing, but he held fast. He did not see a puppy, he saw a wolf, and it was not in distress, it was nashing it’s teeth as she strained to go rescue it. He pulled her back, a little more roughly than he’d meant to, before she could go any closer, and together they continued, a trail of joy and hope staining the ground behind her, while loyality and protection ran down his leg and out of his boot. And although angry with each other, they both stopped at the same time to collect more beautiful pebbles scattered in front of them.

They continued on, but they were beginning to feel weighted down. Her feet were not as light as they once were, and she had no energy to skip. His feet felt hot and heavy, and he did not smile at her. Even her dress hung limply around her ankles and they were both vaguely aware that the pebbles they had collected were beginning to feel heavy, while the reassuring weight they’d always felt in their backs was uncomfortably light. Trudging on toward the light, following the path set before them, they heard a sound behind them, bearing down on them like a freight train.

They turned to look, hands still clasped and saw that it was a tornado, far away still, but coming closer. Still looking over their shoulders, they saw the dry earth and tumbleweeds rise up to join the swirling air, which sucked everything in like a vacuum. The cyclone devoured the sky and obscured the light, and it was headed straight down the path and right for them.

She wanted to run, but her burdens were too heavy, he wanted to fight it, but his arms were full. It was coming closer, following their path and threatening to suck them both up. They realized that the only way to be safe was to leave the path, break apart, and dive to safety, each on their own sides. They took one final look at each other, as the noise from behind them became deafening, her hair and dress swirled around her as they nodded to each other that it was time to let go and save themselves.

But the wind that was threatening to blow them apart had also stirred the earth stained with hope, joy, devotion, protection, loyalty and love. The letters swirled around, becoming words, words became meaning and meaning became feeling. Her gifts were all mixed up with his, and showered down on them both, until it became theirs. And the power that tried to carry them away, had instead blown away the once beautiful pebbles, which had become ugly rocks over the years. Resentment, anger, hurt and sadness were wrestled from their arms, instantly swirling above their heads and sucked up in the abyss behind and over them.

Lighter than they’d felt in years, they looked at each other, hands still clasped, and saw that they were infused with each others strengths. No longer afraid, they laughed and started running together, wind nipping at their heels, kicking up a cloud of dust behind them that was absorbed into the whirlwind chasing them. It followed them the whole way, but did not devour them, because love covered them like a shield. It felt good to run together, unencumbered and free. His boots supported him, and her bare feet flew as her dress and hair fluttered behind her. They did not leave the path, they did not stop, until breathless and laughing, they finally reached the light.

He was waiting for them at the end of the path, glowing as the light behind Him spilled out around Him. They stopped short and looked up at Him. He was spotless and beautiful and smiling at them both. Their smiles faded as they looked down and saw that they were both shamefully filthy. Her dress was torn and her feet were dirty. His boots were covered in dust and his face had dirt smudges on it. They were suddenly embarrassed to show up at such a perfect place this way. Together they turned to leave. But He put a hand on their shoulders and kindly said, “what is in your backpacks?”

They were so used to carrying them, and they had gotten so light that they’d forgotten them. They slipped them off their shoulders and unzipped them and inside, much to their surprise, they found new clothes, without spot or rip. “They are for you, “ He said. “I’m giving them to you so that you can come with me.” They were stunned, and grateful. He turned and beckoned them to follow Him. She was suddenly happy, so happy that she skipped through the doors, behind Him, light as a feather in her spotless clothes. He smiled at her fondly as he dropped the dirty backpack at the doorway and entered too.

And they truly, lived happily ever after. The end.

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Rest for your Soul

One of my nephews messaged today because he’s coming home next month and wanted to let us know. By “coming home,” I mean his childhood home in Trenton NJ, which is a mere 500 miles from us, his Maine family, rather than roughly 7,200 away in China where he has been living and working for the last few years. Since he will be so close, even for just a few weeks, he would like to come and see us, catch up on all the news, and share his own. He wants to rest and play, explore and share good conversations with us over a glass of not-so-great wine.

My nephews have spent two weeks nearly every summer of their childhoods here in Maine with their extended family. For many years they came with their parents; a happy, crazy, hazy, lazy time in August. Now that they are all grown, they still come up as often as they can, separately but with the addition of friends, girlfriends, and partners. I love that even as adults, or maybe especially because they are grownups, with grownup lives, they still think of Maine as a place for R&R, a place where they can shrug off their heavy adult coat and live unburdened for a short time.

It’s a wonderful feeling to know that your home and/or presence is a comfort to others, a sanctuary and a place to recover from the demands of an unforgiving world. There are so few places in this world where there are no expectations. Most of us wear a mask at times, even those among us who value authenticity and prickle internally at a disingenuous atmosphere or situation. There are social norms to conform to though, and hoops to jump through, and it can be exhausting, even for the strongest of the strong…maybe especially for them.

When the winds of adulting have left you battered you to the point of bone-weariness, isn’t it so comforting to know that there is a harbor of love beckoning you home, a place where you are cherished and loved, fluffed and puffed? Not unlike a child whose  mittens dangle reassuringly from a string around his shoulders and whose hood is tied securely and lovingly by his mother who is careful not to pinch when zipping him up, its such a safe feeling to know that there is a place where you can go to be protected from the elements, and feel the lavish heaps of care, attention and protection.

I hope that everyone who reads this has a place like this, maybe even several places, just like my nephews. A place where you never knock before you come in, and don’t have to text first to say you’re going to stop by. A place that the owners face will light up when they see you. A place where you leave your social mask at the door and slip into your authentic-self slippers, which have been left for you by the door from your last visit. A place where the people love it when you brag about your accomplishments a little, and feel genuine joy and pride for all that you’ve done out there, and you never feel embarrassed to tell them the compliments others have paid you, because you know they truly enjoy hearing it. A place where your favorite foods are prepared in your honor and it isn’t awkward at all if you take a quick nap on their couch after you eat. A place where you can feel yourself paradoxically unplug, yet recharge. A place where secrets are told and kept, and when you share the darkest parts of yourself; the things that you’re ashamed to say but long to tell, you do, because you know the ugliness will dissipate in the light of their eyes. A place where the fire is warm and the hearts are warmer and the burdens you lay down at the door when you entered this place are still there waiting for you by the door, but they are curiously lighter than when you came. But wait, they’re actually not any lighter, it’s just that your arms are stronger, and your mind is clear. Your gait is determined and your spirit refreshed. The world and its demands are still waiting for you, yet you now welcome the challenge; buoyed, bolstered and wrapped in a protective bubble of unconditional love.

I am thankful to have such places to go here on earth, and even more grateful to be this person for a few people, but to me such a place is Heaven. I’m not talking about streets of gold and angels with harps kind of heaven, I’m talking about Home. I’m talking about wearily trudging up to Jesus’ cozy house, dropping my burdens by the door, entering without knocking and seeing him to turn to me, delight on his face. I’m talking about sipping coffee with him while we eat warm cinnamon buns and I talk about all the things on my heart. I’m talking about seeing the love in his eyes, as he nods and say “I know,” and I know that he does. I’m talking about taking a quick nap on his couch while he covers me with his softest blanket. I’m talking about waking so refreshed that I’m ready to go back out there.

He’ll wave as I go of course, and even though I’ll have a lump in my throat because I know I can’t live there yet, I can visit anytime. And as time goes by and I pick up more and more bags of worldly burdens, the heavier it all becomes. And just when I think I can’t go any farther, I find a love note that He tucked in my pocket while I napped. The Word is weightless, yet sinks into my heart, and a curious mix of strength and softness surround me. The power of His Word will sustain me until that day- when dirty, tired and hungry I again trudge to His house and, without knocking, and knowing He will turn and smile, I enter into sweet and eternal rest (with a little bit of fun and adventure of course, because after all, this IS Heaven I’m talking about!).

*Don’t or can’t believe this? Is this too much of a fairy tale for you? It’s true, it’s all true and it will set you free. Questions? Comment below or PM me!

 

 

 

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Step into the light

It’s you…

You robber of joy, you stealer of laughter. You’ve taken our peace, that’s what you’re after.

You’ve stolen my love, taken him away again, and replaced his smile, with anger and pain.

You took our hope, you’ve stolen his light, you made him believe that life isn’t worth the fight.

You inject us with strife, what slick lies you weave, you seek to destroy, hoping one of us leaves.

But, oh… once again, you’ve overplayed your hand! Through the havoc you wreak I understand…

That’s it’s you…the accuser, the liar, the thief; not my husband, not our lives, it’s not even me.

For those who’ve felt the crush of bipolar, and for the loved ones still standing when the heaviness takes over,

only you can know, how isolating it feels, when the blanket of oppression so stealthily steals.

But, take heart my love, and for all those who suffer, you will stand again, and fight the blackness that hovers.

For it IS a battle, we who fight illness know, how tenacious it is,  it doesn’t easily go.

Yet, the Light is coming, hold on a little more…See? here He comes, through the open door.

He bares our weariness, heartbreak and stress, beckons us to Him, so we may finally rest.

So, don’t worry, my sweet, it will be alright, take my hand and together, we’ll step into the Light.

 
The people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.
Matthew 4:16