Tines and I were both off yesterday, and had planned to visit my father. He is in a local hospital and very sick with a blood infection. We had our coats on, and were ready to go, when our daughter called from work. “Bean’s school just called. she has a temp of 103. Can you get her?” Can we? This is what grandparents are for! Responding to a distress call and swooping in to save the day is what we do best!
Our plans now completely changed, we drove the 22 miles to her school, where we were met with a flushed face, glassy-eyed girl and a relieved smile. She struggled into her coat as I asked if she wanted Papa to carry her to the car. “Nooo Noni!” she said. Even in sickness, five-year old Bean didn’t want to be seen as a baby being carried out of the school.
We drove home, Bean falling asleep within minutes, and Papa carried her in (no complaints now). Taking off her coat, she vomited twice, all over herself, and the couch. Nurse Noni sprung into action; soothing, wiping, tucking in, cleaning up, taking temperatures, offering cool drinks and warm blankets. And so, the morning and afternoon passed, Bean listless and quiet on the couch, Papa concerned and helpful, Noni in her glory.
That sounds weird, I know, even to my own ears. Why would a grandmother enjoy seeing a child so sick? Well, maybe because, thank God, I’ve never had a critically ill child, which would be a very, very different story. In fact, a co-worker has a child who is fighting for her life as I write this. A vibrant and healthy three-year old, little Brylee was struck down by the adenovirus, the same bug that made her three siblings ill, but for whatever reason, has left her fighting for her life for the past seven weeks, even in the hands of one the world’s best children’s’ hospitals. That is obviously different from fluffing and puffing a little one at home for 24-48 hours.
I think there are two reasons that I enjoy taking care of sick kids. The first is, because my own two children never, ever stopped moving from the time they could walk, and the only time that they would let me love on them, and fuss over them was when they were sick. From the time their little eyes opened in the morning, they were off like a shot, never lighting for anywhere for more than a few minutes. So, I hardly ever sat either, as there was always some near catastrophe to prevent. I could never touch them enough when they were well, they moved so fast, and they never let me cuddle with them on the couch. But, a child with a fever, loves to snuggle, nestle, be rocked and they want your presence as they never seem to care about when they are well.
Now, a fever is a matter of debate and at times, contention between Tiny and me, and has been since our daughter was born 26 years ago. You see, I believe that a fever is a good thing, intended by God to force the patient to rest and to promote healing, There is a science behind it too, involving pyrogens, which produce heat and stimulate the immune system, making it harder for microorganisms to flourish and to help shuttle iron to the liver, so that it’s not as available to fuel the growth of invading bacteria (note: end of the Susie Science lecture). However, when you compare a listless and feverish child, to one who is now playing, its hard to argue when a fever reducer makes them “seem” better. The medical community too, is quick to bring down a fever. Nurses and doctors alike, seem to want to see quick results by rushing in to reduce fever. As a nurse, I struggle with this concept, but ultimately go along with it because it is my job. However, at home, I only treat a fever if it’s dangerously high, and also before bed to help the child rest more comfortably. This is one of the many subjects “the Bickersons” butt heads over. Bean’s fever of 103.7, coupled with her malaise made the choice clear though.
The second reason I enjoy a cuddling a sick child, is because I have seen many of them in the hospital, at times with parents who are not even physically present. I remember one time, when I was still a CNA, my daughter, around two, was sick. I didn’t feel like I could miss work, because it was the weekend and her father was home. She cried when I left because she wanted me, but I left anyway and I cried myself, as I drove in to work. Strangely, my assignment that day was to be “1:1” with a very sick infant, whose parents had decided not to stay with him. I rocked him, and cuddled him all day, but the irony was not lost on me. Here I was, comforting this baby, whose parents did not care that a stranger took care of him, even when he was very sick, while I fought back tears as I rocked him because I wanted to rock my own sick baby, even though she was with her father. I think this experience has taught me that it is a blessing to be able to comfort another human being, especially a little one, and even more so, your own.
At the end of the day, Bean’s fever started to rise again, despite the Ibuprofen we had given her a few hours before. She shivered as I put her boots and coat on while Papa brought her things out to the warmed up car then returned to carry her out. The plan was for him to meet her mother at work, when she got out at 8pm. I buckled her in, and tucked a fleece blanket under her chin. “Noni! Can you come?!?” she asked desperately as her teeth chattered and she looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Yes” I said as I grabbed my coat and jumped in the back seat with her.
We met her mother as planned, and our duty as grandparents ended for the day but my duty as mother took over, as I received reports via text from my daughter that Bean had vomited once again and her temperature had climbed to 104.5. I offered my advice and prayed for them both. At the same time, I was perusing Facebook and saw a photo of little Brylee, well at the time, with her little hands clenched as if in prayer. Her mother had posted this sweet photo, and was begging for prayers from anyone and everyone as her condition was, and remains quite grave. If you have read this far, please take a minute to pray for Brylee and her family. I’m so thankful to have had a day comforting Bean. I know that she will soon be well, and moving too fast to kiss and love on, and I’m praying that Brylee will too.
